Leaves
November 6, 2022
(I haven’t used audio in a long while but this poem just felt like it needed to be read.)
She watched as one leaf fell floating swirling dropping leveling twisting falling again until it landed softly on the ground. She described it as an ending, the result of reaching the end of its life. But. What if that story was wrong? What if the leaf jumped instead? Maybe a leaf lives its whole life building to that moment when it gets to fly. Maybe leaves talk about it all summer long, how they will launch into the air take flight and then come into communion with the ground below. Maybe some leaves hang on waiting for just the right wind so their flight can be as long as possible. Perhaps others want to know what it's like floating when the winds are still. Perhaps uniting with the ground is the beginning rather than the end. Leaves falling is just a story after all. One of the many stories we tell so often we believe they are true.
Hello friends. I’ve been thinking a lot about the stories we tell ourselves and how some stories are helpful and some are not. I’ve written about this before (here). I’ve been feeling very stressed the last two weeks and some of it is assuredly the stories I’m telling myself. I’m investigaing ways to do a better job of catching and shifting these stories for my own well being.
The upcoming election is assuredly one where a lot of people have a story they are telling and most of the stories probably aren’t true - including mine. At least I hope the worst of what I imagine will not come to pass. Regardless, going down the rat-hole of the horror that could be is not doing my body, mind and spirit any good.
I often wonder what comes first, the feeling or the story? And does it matter? We spin stories based on how we feel and then the stories can strengthen the feeling - or dissipate it.
This week I started practicing some techniques I learned years ago (but abandoned) from Heartmath (they have free videos and tools available on their website) that are intended to just stop, create a pause, and give your heart/wiser self a chance to chime in. I’ve also recommitted to regular meditation. Funny how easy it’s been to let that slip and how much I really need it.
Stories can heal. Stories can destroy. Stories can hold us back or move us forward. Stories are powerful. We have some agency in the stories we tell, we just don’t always know it. What do you do when the story you’re telling yourself isn’t helpful? How do you maintain balance in unbalanced times?
Meanwhile, fall keeps on falling, birds trickle through and it’s raining again which is still sorely needed! I’ve never seen the lake this low - I watched a deer walk (not swim) across the cove in the water the other day. Yesterday more than 2 inches of rain fell and this morning - after being 70 F yesterday morning - it snowed. Because Missouri. However we got the moisture I will take it!
Major election on a full moon with a lunar eclipse - who knows what the universe has up her sleeve? May it be peaceful and productive and regardless what happens may we continue to show up and do the work for peace.
Absolutely love this poem and your observations about stories. Humans live by story (consciously and unconsciously.) Over the years, I have brought a few of the stories that no longer serve me to awareness, let them go, and created new stories. The tricky part is not to blame or condemn ourselves for the old stories- we were taught them, and to some degree we picked them up and internalized them because they kept us alive. Old survival strategies/stories are often later maladaptive, but I am learning to be more appreciative of how (even at a cost) they "worked." (I am, after all, still here! :) Now when I write a new story, I tenderly thank the old one and imagine just gently setting it down at the side of the road and walking on.
Which comes first, the feeling or the story? What a good framing. Thank you 🧡