On Otters and Feeling Safe

December 4, 2022

Hello friends! I’ve heard from a few folks that Substack has been sending quite a lot of emails to folks that don’t want them. There is a way to unsubscribe from the Substack stuff (at least most of it!) without unsubscribing from newsletters you enjoy (mine of course!). I have included instructions at the bottom of the page on how to do it from the browser. If you’re using the app, it’s similar.

How fast they move, slinking through the water like a mix between a dolphin and a cat. Playful, quick, curious, powerful. All muscle and teeth. Electrifying, terrifying. Spectacular.

I saw four otters from across the cove and felt the electricity run through me. I sat down on the ground and hoped they would come my way. They did. Up and down they went in the water, their body arcing like a dolphin, their thin tail quickly disappearing before their head appeared again. As they approached the dock where I was sitting, they started to pop their heads out of the water one at a time, looking every bit like that whack-a-mole game in the old arcades.

I stayed still, hoping they would come close enough I could really see them even as I fought the urge to make sure they saw me. My animal body recognized their power, quickness, and sharp teeth. I instinctively knew I didn’t want them to get too close. So I paid attention, knowing if they didn’t see me first I would make sure they saw me soon. It didn’t matter, they saw me anyway and quickly disappeared out into the lake. I saw them pop up once about 50 yards away and then they were gone.

Finding an inner sense of safety has been on my mind for some time. How do I find a way to feel safe in a world that seems full of threats? In a world where humans don’t respond instinctively the way animals do?

He didn’t feel safe as soon as a human showed up either.

How do we feel safe when people still don’t stay home when they are sick or wear a mask when needed in year three of a pandemic? When scam attempts come at us every day and everyone is vulnerable? When costs far exceed income? When our healthcare systems are stressed and stressful? When violent rhetoric seems rampant and violence and crime are rising? When climate change threatens everyone in a myriad of ways?

Yet a sense of safety is critical to our health and well-being. Our bodies need it to heal and replenish, our hearts need it to be generous and open and our minds need it to think clearly. If we are to solve the problems of our time, a sense of safety will help us create more sustainable solutions.

Sunrise 11/28/22

There are moments I feel safe, such as watching the sunrise on a calm morning with birds flitting about. If the birds feel safe, my body relaxes too. I notice on windy days it’s harder to fully relax - and this is true of the birds as well. They are more skittish and quick to take off when the winds are blowing and movement is harder to discern.

Common mergansers still take off when they see me.

There are times other people help us feel safe. When my cousin’s kids were little I remember her 3-year-old daughter seeking out my dad when the fireworks scared her. She kept asking for “Grace’s grandpa”. (Grace is my niece and beloved by the smaller girls - but I like the idea of “grace’s grandpa” too.) My dad loves fireworks and they don’t scare him - his energy in that moment is so settled and it calmed her even though she barely knew him. (Full disclosure, there are many times my dad’s energy can calm me too.)

I have always wanted to be that person, the one who brings peace into the room and helps everyone else settle and open. I am quite often the opposite. I know that feeling unsettled can start my mind racing down the path of what-ifs, and my creativity at dreaming up the worst possible scenarios then raises the feeling of being unsettled. It’s a “negative spiral”. I wonder a lot if the tension we see in our public discourse is rising due to the rising threats around us and if we are collectively in a similar “negative spiral”.

I like bringing this energy to the world (sunrise 11/28/22)

I am trying to find ways to interrupt that cycle and begin to settle back into safety when there isn’t another being (with feet or feathers) to help me settle. Certainly much of the time I am safe, at least for that moment. Trying to “convince” my body and mind of this is sometimes another matter. Yet the sense of peace has to start somewhere.

In the spiritual community I participate in, Cloud Sangha, there is a “theme” each month. This month’s theme is generosity. The first discussion I participated in centered on how feeling an inner sense of safety allows us to open our hearts and be generous. I want to be truly generous with those I interact with in the world. Finding that inner safety is a critical component.

Meanwhile here I am, on a quest for peacefulness and along the way (I hope) bringing moments of peacefulness to others. I may not be able to carry the energy in my body into a crowded room, but I can (sometimes) deliver the energy into the world through this medium. What a blessing to know I don’t have to be the perfect vessel of peacefulness to bring a little more peace to the world.

What helps you feel that sense of inner safety? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Squirrels were busy working on their winter nests

In this season of darkness, I hope there is space for sinking into a safe and quiet nest and connecting to that which holds us all. I pray the return of the light will also bring a renewed sense of peacefulness and hope.

As I mentioned at the top of this essay, I’ve heard from folks that Substack is sending quite a lot of emails from all the “publications” they create and then seem to subscribe everyone too. There is an (easy!) way to greatly reduce these emails. Here are the instructions:

1. Go to reader.substack.com (which may also be substack.com/inbox - but I think you can just follow this link!)

2. Click on the “library” icon on the left to see all the publications you are subscribed too. (In the app, click on the book icon.)

3. Scroll down and find the various Substack publications. Click the three dots on the far right side for a drop down and choose “unsubscribe”. (In the app, the three dots are at the top right after you’ve clicked on the publication.)

   

   Just a small contribution to making things a little more quiet!