The Work of Love

November 17, 2024

“Every day we should be thinking about how to make room at the table—pulling up as many chairs as are needed so everyone has a seat.” - Chef José Andrés

Sunrise, November 15, 2024

Mid-November. Cold, foggy mornings and unseasonably warm afternoons. Flocks of ducks appear at random intervals. ‘Tis the season of coots, flickers, blue jays, juncos, and yellow-rumped warblers. Leaves are turning, leaves have fallen, even the oak leaves are starting to fall.

Each day holds its own surprise. One day it’s a Carolina wren singing all through the sunrise. Another day I hear a fox sparrow in the bushes. Today it was crows. Lots and lots of crows. Every time I looked up I saw more crows, all of them heading from the northwest to the southeast. Not exactly a “flock”, but a steady stream of crows all morning.

The crows are nice enough to announce themselves.

As I walked this week, a song lyric keeps appearing in my mind. “Doesn’t matter how insane it gets, she’s got one dream and her sights set…”. When it first appeared, I tried to google the lyric with no success. I finally remembered enough lyrics to find the song, a 2005 tune called “Ready When it Comes” by Jamie O’Neal. (Link to the YouTube video at the bottom of this post.)

Flicker showing off the top side of her feathers.

When my inner singer presents a song I haven’t heard in years and I can’t remember the lyrics, I play the song. When I played this song, I found myself crying when it got to these lyrics:

“He gathers all his friends and family.
He says, wrap your loving arms around me.
I know I can do this
Love will get me through this
My heart's steady as a drum.
Brighter days are dawning
My faith's holding strong and
I'll be ready when it comes."

Reason #1 to stop on the side of the road and take a photo. Hello Ms. turkey!

Love. Faith (which to me is the same as Trust). Connection.

Reason #2 to stop on the side of the road and take a photo. Always stop for pileated woodpeckers!

I know that Love is the answer to how we get through this. The answer to life, the universe, and everything was never 42, it was always Love. Of course, in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, they were asking the supercomputer. Unsurprisngly, even the literary version of AI got the answer wrong.

Blue jay is also not surprised.

If the answer is Love, then what are the questions that inform what the work of Love looks like in this moment?

Even the yellow-rumped warbler has questions.

The first question for me is what do I need to enable myself to do the work of Love?

Loon ponders her own questions.

I know I need to nourish my own heart and spirit. Filling my cup with love, joy, wonder, and awe is essential if I’m going to do the work of Love. I can’t give from an empty cup. Walking in nature, listening to music, and practicing stillness are ways I nourish my being. Connecting to the people, places, and stories where positive action can and is being taken is another way I nourish my being.

The spectacular colors of bluebirds in the fall help fill my cup.

I also know that I need to tend to my feelings. If I don’t tend to my emotions they can easily become a wall that separates me - separates me from others, separates me from myself, and separates me from my own heart. Acknowledging my feelings and tending to them with care and compassion is part of the work of Love. Tending to my emotions allows my cup to be whole so it can be filled.

Some days my emotions need more tending than others. I feel you ms. red-shouldered hawk!

The second question for me is what work is Love asking me to do right now, today, in this moment?

What work besides watching migrating scaups and mergansers?

If the work of Love is to unite, to bridge divides, and to dismantle polarization, then I must first become aware of the places where I am creating separation. I’m trying to notice where I use phrases like them, those people, and they (not as pronouns). I’m trying to understand where the energies I see outside myself live in me.

Can I watch myself with the patience of a red-shouldered hawk and the kindness of a grandmother?

The easiest place for me to start - though it isn’t always truly easy - is with people I love who voted differently than I did and hold very different beliefs. When I have the capacity, I spend a few moments holding these friends in love and sending them loving-kindness.

If I imagine my fellow humans as birds, it is easier to hold them in loving-kindness. Especially if I imagine them as coots!

At the other end of the scale are the extremely challenging people for whom I struggle to hold compassion. For example, it’s easy for me to place my anger on ultra-wealthy, white, multi-billionaires or any of the myriad of chaos creators in the new administration’s orbit. I can’t yet really get to compassion for some of these people, so I am starting by holding compassion for the place in myself that cannot open to Love.

Bonaparte’s gulls look like a bird that could represent pure love - especially since I know they are so fiesty!

As Arthur Ashe said, “Start where you are, do what you can with what you have.” These are concrete things I can do as I have capacity. They are ways to nourish and strengthen my heart for whatever Love asks of me next. Earlier this week, I stood at the edge of the lake and asked the lake to give me the wisdom that I need to do the work of Love. The answer I heard surprised me:

“Everywhere you look your ancestors are standing with you and they are not standing in fear because they know they have given you what’s needed in this time. They believe in you. You are not alone.”

Even when we feel like one leaf being engulfed by the water, we know we are one of many leaves, past and present.

I am not alone. We are not alone. I believe in us. We can do hard things. What do you need to enable you to do the work of Love? What is Love asking you to do right now?

Red-bellied woodpecker knows her job right now is to store acorns for winter.

This is the song I mentioned earlier in the post: