Friday morning the sky was clear. I watched a sliver of the moon rise with Venus in the morning sky. I sat on a wet shoreline and watched the sun break over the horizon for the first time in four days, filling my spirit with lightness. I soaked in the joy of the swallows swooping all around me in the cold morning air.
I laughed as semi-palmated sandpipers landed nearby and ran towards me with their tiny little legs. Most years I get at least one morning where the little peeps come close, but it hadn’t happened this year and I thought migration was over. Just as they landed, my focus button got stuck in the on position so it was an extra challenge to catch these small, fast-moving birds and I was thankful to get some in focus!
The week started off with a beautiful sunrise on a cold and windy day. I had to get the mittens out but it was totally worth it. The sun rises very early now so just waking up in time is something to be grateful for.
I spent Tuesday (my birthday) reflecting on the year that had passed, on how I thought I’d have more of a map for navigating life by now, and mostly feeling deep gratitude for all of the wonderful beings who have loved me, shared their joy, and shared their beauty with me. I have indeed been blessed.
Then I saw the news. I don’t even want to write about it. I want to write something to take away the pain. I want to focus on beauty and wonder and the tiny joys of life. I want to scream at the top of my lungs in anger and agony. I want to do something to wake us up, to make it change. Our children, teachers, caregivers and fellow citizens deserve so much better.
It rained for three days and nights. The dark and gloom soaked in despite my efforts to keep it at bay. I felt the emptiness, the despair and the overwhelm that comes when the darkness pushes out the light and when my faith in life flickers.
Then Friday the clouds departed and the sun filled the sky with light. I found sweetness and joy with the swallows and sandpipers. I watched the swallows pick up feathers as the geese preened them and take them back to their nest. I marveled at this great creation, so much more vast and wise than the human mind, where the timing of every little thing feeds something else.
I found I could still laugh. I spent time with one of my dearest friends, a friend whose deep faith in humanity renews my spirit. She believes in us when we don’t believe in ourselves, even when things are tough. My heart lifted and the overwhelm abated, at least for a little while.
I’ve been listening to the great Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh talk about effectively working for social justice and change. He says over and over, if we want to bring peace and compassion to the world then we must water the seeds of peace and compassion in ourselves. We must learn to touch the anger, fear, and hatred in ourselves with peace and compassion in order to transform them.
It is so easy to water the seeds of anger and fear every time I open the news or social media. More and more I understand I need to water the seeds of joy and beauty to balance my heart, to create space in which to hold and transform suffering. Without joy and beauty, compassion withers and dies. The doors and windows to my soul shut down and I am left unable to offer what I want to offer to the world.
When I marvel at the timing of migration, the way trees produce seeds and fruit just when they are needed and the birds plant seeds even as they are nourished, I have to believe in a love and magic deeper than a few men can destroy. Anne Lamott says, “Grace bats last”. The game isn’t over yet.
Here are a few other moments of beauty from this week’s posts:
How will you water the seeds of peace, joy and compassion this week?
Watering the Seeds
Dear Karen, this is a truly lovely post. I agree with every bit if it, and I consider you a kindred spirit who I really want to meet in person one day. I also want to meet your friend who refuses to lost hope in humanity.
I always find that there’s a lot to be hopeful for and a lot of hope to draw from the things around up. One of the reason why I love reading your posts is because you see though the eyes of hope and give some to all your readers in the process. I think that the journey of faith as I have experiences it as a Buddhist is banking on this and becoming the kind of bedrock of hope that your friend is.
Very inspiring. Sending you lots of love from Mumbai where you are always welcome.
Happy belated birthday Karen❤️