It’s uncanny Karen, but sometimes it feels like you me and Cali are circling around the same themes and writing about them from different perspectives! It’s very enriching!
Sorry to hear you have had a setback. Three steps forward, two steps back. I hope that you are making strides away from the pain. In my book, Tales of a Wayward Yogini, I write about a dear friend Ron. He taught me many important lessons, but one that I love and come back to often is the analogy of a corkscrew regarding illness, pain, and any challenging trauma. As we move through the experience, we feel like we are not making any progress. Ron would say, think of a corkscrew. The view remains the same as you spin round and round. But all the while, you are moving forward in baby steps, and one day that cork pops out of the bottle. It's a simple little thought, yet the visual left an impression on me, and I think of it any time I'm moving through something difficult, for instance, now with our wildfire. Baby steps and one day at a time! 💜
I’ve had to ask myself many times this summer, if I’ve slept well enough to venture out into the dawn to capture the sunrise. The blistering heat makes sleep near impossible for this insomniac. The dark circles under my eyes attest to the sorry state I’m in. So I rest, and miss out on the glorious feeling of being alive that you speak of… I totally understand, as I know that when I don’t rest, my allergies escalate, my digestion suffers, and my immune system wavers. So, I stay still and pray for cooler temperatures and wait for lovely fall and winter to arrive 🙏
Terra, I completely get this. In summer the sunrise is also so much earlier. I miss it sometimes too because sleep comes first. That's actually the worst part about the sciatica flaring up, it is worst at night and makes it impossible to sleep.
I have a resident heron, very grouchy fellow, who requires that his large personal space remain inviolate. The rest of us react just as your hawks do, although I do my best to respect his boundaries!
Ha ha, I get it! They really do have personalities. We have one with only two toes so everyone is pretty sure it's the same one. Been hanging around the marina for years. The fishermen leave fish for him so he will warily land pretty close to come get the fish. they are wicked smart.
Thank you for sharing Karen and the lovely photographs. I'm in awe. I also just finished reading Braiding Sweetgrass. It was beautiful and I look at the earth around me in a new light and taking only what I need. I look forward to growing a garden next year—The three sisters. Sending you comfort, patience, and grace for the week ahead.
I'm sorry your back has seized-up again, Karen. And thank you for the shout-out.
I'm commenting the day after Mary Oliver's birthday, the discussion of which reminds me there are people in the world who look down their noses at her work. This baffles me. I understand that not everyone likes the same things; there are hugely popular elements of our culture that I just don't understand the attraction of. But snide comments about Mary's work, I don't know. Those people get muted or unfollowed immediately, heh. I love her work so much.
Even so, I often question what I do, mostly in poetry. Am I selling myself short as the "walking on the riverbank engaging with joy and beauty" guy, which I kind of became when OSJ came out, instead of being the "angry Indigenous guy poking every slight with a stick" guy? Then I read this quote from an interview Mary Oliver did in 2011 about her work:
"I don't usually mess around with what makes me unhappy when I'm writing. I want to write poems that will comfort, maybe amuse, enliven other people. I don't mean that the world is all great and wonderful. But I'm careful to—I try to keep the emphasis on the good and the hopeful."
This is from a woman who lived a much more difficult life than I have, and I take solace in this. I AM the river guy as much, or more, than I am the angry guy. I'm just going to write what I feel in any given moment and share the results that work. It's when I think of writing for anyone other than myself where I start to second guess, and that is no way to be. I'm just hoping that I'm more enamored with the world than angry at it, when all accounts are taken into consideration.
It's hard to imagine snide comments about Mary Oliver really. She's so down to earth, which is why I think I love her poetry. She was one of the first poets I found where I just love every single thing she wrote. I didn't have to think about it, it just resonated in my being. When I was drawing people were telling me my art wasn't "edgy" enough as if I wasn't really getting into my emotions if it wasn't darker somehow. But i don't think Mary Oliver is overly or overtly "positive". Just real.
Almost as if it's not ok to be the ""walking on the riverbank engaging with joy and beauty" guy". I love the realness most of all.
Oriah always said "can you love the world without trying to fix it" (and it's probably in one of her poems that I can't find now but that line has always stayed with me). The unconditional kind of love with a world that is what it is.
I think sometimes it's easy to be angry and irritated. It's culturally accepted as Brene Brown says because it's "aggressive". I've had intuitive readings where I touch the gentleness in my heart and I find myself afraid of it. Isn't that strange?
Great message this week. I wish you a speedy recovery, Karen! Thank you for what you bring to the world. It’s a wonderful moment to breathe and reflect.
I’ve lived a lot of my life in pain~ in my forties my back really got bad and I pushed and pushed~ my self not really aware ~ I had to support myself after my divorce~
after my back fusion~ laying on my back for months rods ~screws ~bone from hips~ holding my back together ~ I started to heal ~my Dr. Wanted me to see a psychologist ~ he had known me for years~ “you are the kindest person I know ~but your eyes are sad~ “ so I went~I learned so much during this time~ I learned I didn’t have compassion for my self~ I had compassion for my patients ~ my staff~ ( in charge of a nursing dept) but not me~ I started on a road of internal healing~ jump forward to today I am 74~I think we learn until the day we die ~God has given me many gifts in my life ~you are one ~you who brings joy to my world ~I look forward to your pictures and your words and you~ you are kind ~sensitive and compassionate ~ take time for you Karen to heal~ be good to yourself.
Thank you Steven. This makes me think of a Thich Naht Han meditation where he says "I have arrived" on the in breath and "I am home" on the out breath.
crashing is indeed part of life. sometimes i think that the world is in a huge pile up and we don’t even know it.
take care, rest, and most importantly, allow yourself to be lazy. i’ve found that sometimes the best medicine is not taking myself so seriously — which means, laughing out loud, enjoying my problems, watching dumb things on TV, and taking breaks from the things that mean a lot to me.
easier said than done of course. but i believe in you. ❤️
Ah, yes! Now I see why my Facebook post resonated yesterday! Indeed, sometimes trying to cover the distance between reality and aspiration/imagination too fast and furiously ends up a long slog! I am definitely taking your experience as a cautionary tale. May your relapse be short-lived. And thanks for the heads-up on the Christ LaTray newsletter!
When you're back on your feet 100%, we've got to get you down to South Georgia in early August to see the gatherings of swallowtail kites. Thank you for all your glorious photos.
I would love to do that! There have been some swallowtail kits up in North Kansas City the last couple weeks and it's caused quite a stir with the birding community. I'd love to see them (but right now sitting in a car for a 45 min drive is impossible). It would be AMAZING to see that gathering.
Good post, thanks. Important to remind ourselves we live on a real planet, living a real life, with all the limitations and chances to fly. By accepting our limitations we give ourselves more chances to fly.
It’s uncanny Karen, but sometimes it feels like you me and Cali are circling around the same themes and writing about them from different perspectives! It’s very enriching!
I know! I think we are dreaming together. It's very lovely.
I hope you recover from your setback this week… I find my mind says yes.. you can still do that… and my body says ummm nope I don’t think so… 😳🙄😬❤️
Sorry to hear you have had a setback. Three steps forward, two steps back. I hope that you are making strides away from the pain. In my book, Tales of a Wayward Yogini, I write about a dear friend Ron. He taught me many important lessons, but one that I love and come back to often is the analogy of a corkscrew regarding illness, pain, and any challenging trauma. As we move through the experience, we feel like we are not making any progress. Ron would say, think of a corkscrew. The view remains the same as you spin round and round. But all the while, you are moving forward in baby steps, and one day that cork pops out of the bottle. It's a simple little thought, yet the visual left an impression on me, and I think of it any time I'm moving through something difficult, for instance, now with our wildfire. Baby steps and one day at a time! 💜
Thank you! 🙏💕
Hugs Karen!
I’ve had to ask myself many times this summer, if I’ve slept well enough to venture out into the dawn to capture the sunrise. The blistering heat makes sleep near impossible for this insomniac. The dark circles under my eyes attest to the sorry state I’m in. So I rest, and miss out on the glorious feeling of being alive that you speak of… I totally understand, as I know that when I don’t rest, my allergies escalate, my digestion suffers, and my immune system wavers. So, I stay still and pray for cooler temperatures and wait for lovely fall and winter to arrive 🙏
PS - praying for rain and cooler temps for you.
Terra, I completely get this. In summer the sunrise is also so much earlier. I miss it sometimes too because sleep comes first. That's actually the worst part about the sciatica flaring up, it is worst at night and makes it impossible to sleep.
Hugs to you
sciatica is just awful!
Sending healing blessings your way.
🙏
Thank you
I have a resident heron, very grouchy fellow, who requires that his large personal space remain inviolate. The rest of us react just as your hawks do, although I do my best to respect his boundaries!
Ha ha, I get it! They really do have personalities. We have one with only two toes so everyone is pretty sure it's the same one. Been hanging around the marina for years. The fishermen leave fish for him so he will warily land pretty close to come get the fish. they are wicked smart.
Thank you for sharing Karen and the lovely photographs. I'm in awe. I also just finished reading Braiding Sweetgrass. It was beautiful and I look at the earth around me in a new light and taking only what I need. I look forward to growing a garden next year—The three sisters. Sending you comfort, patience, and grace for the week ahead.
Thank you - and yes, that book is so great! I'm not done yet, I've been meandering through it slowly for a few months.
I'm sorry your back has seized-up again, Karen. And thank you for the shout-out.
I'm commenting the day after Mary Oliver's birthday, the discussion of which reminds me there are people in the world who look down their noses at her work. This baffles me. I understand that not everyone likes the same things; there are hugely popular elements of our culture that I just don't understand the attraction of. But snide comments about Mary's work, I don't know. Those people get muted or unfollowed immediately, heh. I love her work so much.
Even so, I often question what I do, mostly in poetry. Am I selling myself short as the "walking on the riverbank engaging with joy and beauty" guy, which I kind of became when OSJ came out, instead of being the "angry Indigenous guy poking every slight with a stick" guy? Then I read this quote from an interview Mary Oliver did in 2011 about her work:
"I don't usually mess around with what makes me unhappy when I'm writing. I want to write poems that will comfort, maybe amuse, enliven other people. I don't mean that the world is all great and wonderful. But I'm careful to—I try to keep the emphasis on the good and the hopeful."
This is from a woman who lived a much more difficult life than I have, and I take solace in this. I AM the river guy as much, or more, than I am the angry guy. I'm just going to write what I feel in any given moment and share the results that work. It's when I think of writing for anyone other than myself where I start to second guess, and that is no way to be. I'm just hoping that I'm more enamored with the world than angry at it, when all accounts are taken into consideration.
It's hard to imagine snide comments about Mary Oliver really. She's so down to earth, which is why I think I love her poetry. She was one of the first poets I found where I just love every single thing she wrote. I didn't have to think about it, it just resonated in my being. When I was drawing people were telling me my art wasn't "edgy" enough as if I wasn't really getting into my emotions if it wasn't darker somehow. But i don't think Mary Oliver is overly or overtly "positive". Just real.
Almost as if it's not ok to be the ""walking on the riverbank engaging with joy and beauty" guy". I love the realness most of all.
Oriah always said "can you love the world without trying to fix it" (and it's probably in one of her poems that I can't find now but that line has always stayed with me). The unconditional kind of love with a world that is what it is.
I think sometimes it's easy to be angry and irritated. It's culturally accepted as Brene Brown says because it's "aggressive". I've had intuitive readings where I touch the gentleness in my heart and I find myself afraid of it. Isn't that strange?
Thank you for this thoughtful comment.
Great message this week. I wish you a speedy recovery, Karen! Thank you for what you bring to the world. It’s a wonderful moment to breathe and reflect.
Thank you Winston. Lots and lots of breathing into what is at the moment.
I’ve lived a lot of my life in pain~ in my forties my back really got bad and I pushed and pushed~ my self not really aware ~ I had to support myself after my divorce~
after my back fusion~ laying on my back for months rods ~screws ~bone from hips~ holding my back together ~ I started to heal ~my Dr. Wanted me to see a psychologist ~ he had known me for years~ “you are the kindest person I know ~but your eyes are sad~ “ so I went~I learned so much during this time~ I learned I didn’t have compassion for my self~ I had compassion for my patients ~ my staff~ ( in charge of a nursing dept) but not me~ I started on a road of internal healing~ jump forward to today I am 74~I think we learn until the day we die ~God has given me many gifts in my life ~you are one ~you who brings joy to my world ~I look forward to your pictures and your words and you~ you are kind ~sensitive and compassionate ~ take time for you Karen to heal~ be good to yourself.
I know you have Catherine. I've been working hard on self compassion too and I am starting to feel a shift. Thank you sweet Catherine.
I am praying for you~ It’s hard work to see what I believe we all see in you❤️
It is right, to see what others who love you and see the best in you see is hard work!
❤️
“The biggest distance is acceptance of the life that’s mine vs the life I imagine I am supposed to lead.”
I too am pondering this question. You put it so succinctly. Sorry that you are back in pain. I hope it starts to resolve soon. Lots of love xxx
Ha ha - well you know it was like 3 pages of journaling to get to succinct. :D Thank you Cali.
I am always so grateful for whatever you post...it is always enough!
The immediate response I "heard" in response to Chris's question was
when there is NO DISTANCE between the life I am living and the life
I am seeking, then I will have arrived...
Be well, my friend
Steven
Thank you Steven. This makes me think of a Thich Naht Han meditation where he says "I have arrived" on the in breath and "I am home" on the out breath.
Yes!!💜
crashing is indeed part of life. sometimes i think that the world is in a huge pile up and we don’t even know it.
take care, rest, and most importantly, allow yourself to be lazy. i’ve found that sometimes the best medicine is not taking myself so seriously — which means, laughing out loud, enjoying my problems, watching dumb things on TV, and taking breaks from the things that mean a lot to me.
easier said than done of course. but i believe in you. ❤️
Thank you, these are helpful suggestions!
Ah, yes! Now I see why my Facebook post resonated yesterday! Indeed, sometimes trying to cover the distance between reality and aspiration/imagination too fast and furiously ends up a long slog! I am definitely taking your experience as a cautionary tale. May your relapse be short-lived. And thanks for the heads-up on the Christ LaTray newsletter!
Thanks Lauren! Chris's newsletter is wonderful.
When you're back on your feet 100%, we've got to get you down to South Georgia in early August to see the gatherings of swallowtail kites. Thank you for all your glorious photos.
I would love to do that! There have been some swallowtail kits up in North Kansas City the last couple weeks and it's caused quite a stir with the birding community. I'd love to see them (but right now sitting in a car for a 45 min drive is impossible). It would be AMAZING to see that gathering.
Good post, thanks. Important to remind ourselves we live on a real planet, living a real life, with all the limitations and chances to fly. By accepting our limitations we give ourselves more chances to fly.
Yes indeed. Thank you