I feel it in my body and in my bones, a need to move slower. The part of me who feels her way through the world needs more time to sense, process, adjust and know. There is so much pressure to move faster, get it all done, and yet it is not kind to myself to push through. Kindness looks like honoring my own pace whenever possible.
When did I swallow the idea that faster was better? That moving at my own pace was somehow less than or inferior? Move faster or get out of the way. Productivity culture. More, more, more. I took it in so fully that I am constantly chastizing myself for “not getting more done” or taking “too long” to do things.
I’ve had enough. The part of myself who wakes for the sunrise knows how to move slowly. She is the one who feels the beauty of the world. She is the one who notices the bird in the trees and sits quietly enough for the tiny sandpipers to run about her feet. I have grown to love her and I am ready to honor her needs.
In her book, “Atlas of the Heart”, Brene Brown quotes Jon Kabat-Zinn describing overwhelm as, “the all-too-common feeling that our lives are somehow unfolding faster than the human nervous system and psyche are able to manage well.” I feel that sense a lot, a sense of being behind, needing more time and space, or just wanting everything to slow down. The world is not likely to slow down, but I can.
Today I started a course in self-compassion. Today I started a practice of honoring the needs of this feeling self. Today I started believing that moving slower is also a gift. Today I started and tomorrow I will start again. After all, isn’t life just a series of beginnings and starting over?
Sometimes I will find myself spontaneously singing a song lyric out of the blue. Often they make me laugh and take in the moment more fully. So it was with this amazing sunrise on Thursday morning. 50 degrees (F), light fog on June 2nd - probably the first time I’ve worn a turtleneck in June in Missouri (under the bug clothing no less). It was about 5:40 AM and only the birds and animals were there with me to witness it. Still and quiet, the lyric I found myself singing was, “take me to church…”. Yes indeed, a moment of deep holiness and grateful praise.
Speaking of the need to slow down, I was so fortunate to have two more semi-palmated sandpipers visit me this week. They are so fast - this photo is taken at 1/1000 of a second and his foot is still a blur! It’s amazing how they can run so fast on tiny little legs.
The sandpipers were running all around me and came in so close I honestly thought this might be the day one actually crawls up on my lap. Not quite, but several times they were inside the minimum focus distance of my camera. They make it challenging to get them in focus but being so close gives us a great look at those beautiful feathers.
These two were in full breeding plumage too, look at that beautiful orange!
There is noticeably less bird song than a week ago as the birds get down to the business of nesting. There is more screeching as birds try to keep others away from their nest. Today I found an oriole nest because the orioles were screaming at a crow who had landed in the tree. Poor crow, he sits in that tree all winter but for a month or so he is not going to be welcome there.
I always know when the cottonwood blows my allergies grow and we are right in that season. I have to love the cottonwoods anyway because they provide so much for the birds. Seeds, host for bugs the birds like to eat and fluff for nests as well as providing shelter in their big leaves for many of those nests.
Meanwhile the number of little geese continues to increase, the cedar waxwings are devouring mulberries, the male mallards are in their scruffy phase as they molt their feathers and the brightly colored birds pop in and out of green leaves.
I am still behind on photos but I’ve got some extra migrations posts nearly complete. Meanwhile, wishing everyone exactly whatever it is they need to feel rooted, balanced and peaceful this week.
Love this Karen. Slow is most definitely an art, it takes practice, patience and presence and feels sooo good when you finally embrace the slow and allow the slow into your life and into your being 💫
Thanks, Karen, for today's ponderings. As Peace continues to come into your personal space, the ripples are felt and have influence in subtle ways throughout our larger world. Thanks for all you do as you continue to grow into whom you have always been!