Try Less

March 13, 2022

Young bald-eagle trying to figure me out - good luck buddy, I can’t figure me out either!

Last week I launched a paid subscription option for my newsletter. I told myself this was just an experiment to see what happens – no pressure! I then proceeded to tie myself up in knots trying to figure out exactly how to deliver additional photo posts - which should have been the easiest thing in the world for me to do.

What would I title the posts? I can’t just say “additional photo post” I need some clever naming structure – right? When could I send them? Does it have to be the same day of the week? It can’t be the same day I send my essay post and keeping up with photos during the week while I’m working is really hard and I don’t know what photos I’m going to use in the written post until it’s done and what if I duplicate the photos and people don’t like it and….and…and… Yep. I tied my brain and body up in knots trying to figure it all out.

I know, right? It’s scary in my head.

It's not as if this is a new lesson for me. The most consistent advice my wisest counselors have given me over the years would be various versions of “try less.” I’ve taken an “Awareness Through Movement” class from the wonderful Barbara Anderson for the last two years. Every week I hear her say, “how could this be easier” and “how could you do this with less effort.” I know it works because we have been slowly unwinding my body’s knots and tight movement patterns through this “less effort” approach.

In my twenties, I took up golf. In my early thirties, I decided to become a teaching professional. One of the steps in becoming a teaching professional is passing the difficult playing test (which at the time was even more challenging for a woman – as so many things are). The first time I took that test, I missed a short putt on the last hole to miss the score by one. It felt soul-crushing. And then, I tied myself up in knots so severely I could barely even play golf at all.

I found golf coaches then who taught me techniques to get out of my head, like placing my attention in my feet or listening to the target. Eventually I did pass that playing test. Now I find myself again trying to get out of the spinning in my head. For many months I’ve been learning meditation. The techniques provided are very similar! Put your attention in your body. Pay attention to your senses. Do less.

I bet she knows how to try less!

Every week I think I’m going to write something brilliant. Something funny. Something light. Something mind-blowing that no one reading will have ever heard before. I have at least a dozen “starter posts” where I am trying to write about some brilliant thing I’ve seen or learned. Every week I get brought back to the ground. My muse says, “write what you need to hear.” I suppose, in the end, it is humorous. I am laughing at myself even as I write this.

My grandfather died when I was 23. In the last few days of his life, he told at least two different people, “tell Karen she doesn’t have to be so perfect.” At 23, I didn’t understand this advice at all. At 53, I wish I had absorbed his wisdom sooner. Grandpa, I’m still working on it.

There was a clown face in the sunrise - even the sunrise is laughing at/with me!

I was thinking about my first post of the year, “Soft as a Feather”. Learning to “try less” definitely fits the theme the universe seems to have set for me this year!

Feathers are still there to remind me

Recommendations of the week:

I listened to a fabulous book called “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. I need to listen again and take more notes! Highly recommend (for women, it is written explicitely for women).

I also listened to a wonderful podcast from Brene Brown with Karen Waldron titled “Accessing Joy and Finding Connection in the Midst of Struggle”.

Eagle showing me what effortless looks like.